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Behind The Wall | The Birth Of The Victim

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This story is about the boy who was neglected as a child and abandoned by his mother. He hated school and later was diagnosed with a Learning Disability. He was sexually, physically and verbally abused by his classmates at the school he attended. Finally, he decided to quit school and became a hitman in one of the gangs. He tried to commit suicide but survived. He suffered in silence. His teachers and parents labeled him as a bad, lazy boy. He accepted his situation but he never forgave his abusers and parents. He collects weapons and powerful friends from local gangs. For their protection he pays with his body. He struggles with mood swings and he is very impulsive. He doesn’t trust anybody and refuses to accept any help because he thinks there is no future in front of him.

Victims often are predators in the disguise. Being unloved and neglected leads to learned helplessness. However, it doesn’t mean that feelings of betrayal and abandonment disappear. They often transform quietly to explode when nobody expects it.

For this boy it’s too late. He suffers from severe personality disorder. If the help came earlier, he could possibly have much better life. He could talk with someone about his thoughts and feelings, learn how to control them, become a productive citizen. Only if…

As a young child, Krzysiek faced significant challenges and delays throughout his early development.  He started walking and talking later than his peers. Initially, he lived with his biological mother for his first two years of life.  His mother was drinking and smoking excessively during pregnancy and overusing drugs. She was dancing in one of the famous night clubs and Krzysiek always was with her while she was working. There were no other family members to take care of him. He never met his father and most likely his mother didn’t know who he was. As a young child, Krzysiek was often hungry and nobody reacted when he cried. Therefore with time he stopped crying and calling his mother. Krzysiek was apprehended from his mother due to neglect at age 2 and placed in an orphanage.  At that time he was described by his caregivers as a frightened, nervous and aggressive young boy.  He spoke only one word (“no”) and was not observed to play or adapt to new situations. Instead he was becoming anxious, fearful and resistant when meeting new people or offered new toys and games.  When his adoptive parents met him for the first time Krzysiek was 4 years of age. They found him playing with pictures from his grandmother funeral. A psychological consultation conducted at that time suggested delays in cognitive, speech and social areas. He was adopted at age 4 and embraced with love and care by his adoptive parents. As the only child, he had anything he could imagine: cloths, toys, beautiful house and family. His parents wanted to compensate all negative things that happened in his life so far and change his situation. They imagined Krzysiek being a doctor or a lawyer. His parents said that Krzysiek has never been an easy child. He was often in trouble at school, didn’t want to go there and finally he dropped out the school in Grade 10. He has always experiencing difficulties with learning, and finally he was diagnosed with a Learning Disability na dreceived some support. Krzysiek said that he hated school. His peers called him names and abused him sexually and physically on the school property. Krzysiek disclosed that one day, three boys dragged him to the school washroom. One of the boys was watching at the door to make sure nobody would interrupt them. Krzysiek was told that he needed to die to make sure their secret will never come out. Boys tied the rope firmly around his neck and pulled him up. He said that he was lucky since they didn’t pay attention during the history lessons and they tied the rope in a wrong way so Krzysiek survived. After that he continued to be abused by these boys. He was tied to the chair with his eyes covered and boys were kicking him randomly or pretending that they have a gun or a knife and were about to kill him. He soiled himself from fear.

His burses, Krzysiek explained to his parents as accidents, or he said that he tripped over. As a result, he had to deal with upset parents at home who thought that Krzysiek is just lazy and he has no ambitious.

Krzysiek accepted his situation but he never forgave his abusers and parents. He hates them and hopes to see them suffering. Each and every day he plans how to punish them. He collects weapons and powerful friends from local gangs. For their protection he pays with his body. Krzysiek struggles with mood swings and he is very impulsive. As a young boy, he tried to commit suicide but he was never successful. Recently, he jumped under the driving car. He broke some bones and lost his hearing but survived. Krzysiek doesn’t trust anybody. He refuses to accept any help because he thinks there is no future in front of him. He feels that his parents hate him because he is not their real son.

Dr. Ewa J. Antczak & Associates
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